Dangerously
by RowanAnvil
Summary: Jily Trash co-written with two friends. Sev was her best friend, so why did she let him go? James was a prat, so why did she enjoy his company? Lily hated James, so why did she love him? "I'm probably catching a cold," Lily told herself. T for Language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Also, the story is based off the lyrics to Charlie Puth's Dangerously, so everything in bold italics isn't ours. We only used the lyrics related to the story. BTW, This chapter is set in Lily and James's 5th year. Enjoy!**

 **\- Rowan Anvil and two friends co-writing all this :)**

* * *

 _ **This is gonna hurt but I blame myself first, because I ignored the truth**_

 _ **Drunk off that love, my head up, there's no forgetting you**_

"I'm sorry," Severus said desperately.

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath. I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done it. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just-"

"Slipped out?" Lily scoffed. She smiled but did so grimly. There was no happiness in it. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends- you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

Severus wanted to speak, but no words would come out.

"I can't pretend anymore," Lily said, shaking her head. She threw her hands up. "You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No- listen, I didn't mean-"

"-to call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

He struggled to put together a sentence but Lily didn't wait to hear it. She climbed back through the portrait hole.

Lily stormed back to her dormitory.

"Well?" asked Mary, looking up from her _Witch Weekly_ magazine from her spot on the bed.

"Done," she declared. "I am so done with this ' _friendship_ ' that's been hanging by a thread."

"No, I mean…" Mary's voice trailed off.

"What?" asked Lily.

"How're you _feeling?_ " said Mary.

Lily sighed. She thought for a while before she turned back to her friend. How _was_ she feeling? She figured she had seen this coming, what with his fascination with the Dark Arts and his friendship with Mulciber and Avery. But just because you saw it coming doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. And believe Lily when she said it did. It hurt a lot. She knew it for the best, but Sev had been her closest friend for most of 6 years. So she answered with the most accurate answer she could think of, one that summarized how she had been feeling in the past few days. "I don't know."

"Well, whatever happens, you've got _me_ , okay?" Mary said. "I'm here for you, you know."

"I know."

"Good."

Lily crawled back into bed and thought some more. Mary probably asked if she was alright just in case she cried. She knew Mary cared about her, but only a few of Lily's friends had ever seen her cry before. Lily _was_ emotional, but usually didn't let it out through tears.

Lily would _not_ cry. She would not be one of those pathetic bimbos that cried their eyes every time she chipped a nail. She tried to convince herself that she could let it out because this was more serious than a _fucking chipped nail,_ this was _Sev_ , her _best friend_ and _Merlin's beard, she was thinking about him again._

Lily kept thinking until she fell asleep.

* * *

The next day, while Lily walked to classes, people stared at her as she passed. Lily knew what they were thinking, without having needed to overhear their whispers.

" _Where's Snivellus?_ "

"Finally, _she ended it with that grease bag. I knew she would come to her senses!_ "

" _I thought those two were inseparable!_ "

" _What he said yesterday must've been the last straw. That was a pretty shit move._ "

Lily didn't care about what they thought or said. She went on with her day and did so quite easily. The only thing she was afraid of was if Severus tried to talk to her again, but luckily he didn't. She did not want to see the heartbroken look in his eyes. She did not want to accept his apology. She couldn't, she wouldn't, soften at the thought of what their friendship could've been if it had continued. He was weak and she was strong.

* * *

"Hey James," Sirius nudged his best friend.

"What?" he asked groggily. It was lunchtime and he was still sleepy from his daily History of Magic snooze. Professor Binns' lectures provided a free nap-time period.

"I just heard Lily and Snivellus broke up." Sirius whispered conspiratorially.

James' head shot up and he dropped his spoon, which splashed into his bowl of soup. It sprayed onto his glasses.

Sirius cackled. "Well, _that_ got your attention!"

"Shut up, Padfoot," James muttered while cleaning his glasses with his fingers jokingly, like a wiper on a windshield, before grabbing a napkin off a passing tray. "On a more important note, why didn't you tell me earlier?" he hissed through a clenched jaw.

"Only just found out," Sirius shrugged.

"From who?"

"A reliable resource." Sirius slurped his soup and it dribbled down his chin.

"Merlin's _beard_ , Sirius, use your damn spoon." Remus slid into his seat along with Peter.

"Where were you, Moony?" James asked.

"Don't toss that nickname around so carelessly!" Remus scolded. "Helping someone with an essay." he mumbled.

"Of _course_ , you goody two shoes," Sirius smirked. "By the way...have you heard?"

"What?" asked Peter.

"Snivellus and Lily broke up!" he squealed. He shook James' shoulders. "It's James' chance!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Oh, you're _despicable_. Why do I even bother?"

"Eh?" Sirius raised his eyebrows.

"First of all, you give the impression that Lily and Severus were dating. They _weren't_ dating-"

"That's right!" James broke in defensively before Remus could finish. The other three stared at him.

"May I go on?" Remus asked, annoyed. James nodded silently.

"Anyway, they never dated. Secondly, it's hard to say goodbye to friends, so she must be in a grieving state. Therefore, it would be _preposterous_ for James to barge in like the arrogant toerag he is-"

"I am not!" he protested.

"-and try to charm Lily and win her affection."

Sirius shrugged. "Well said." He turned to James. "Prongs. I think you'll have to wait for Evans to cool her head before you make a move on her."

James nodded sullenly. "Yes, sir."

The other three talked some more during lunch, but James wasn't paying attention. All he could think about was Lily Evans and if she was alright.

* * *

Lily liked playing with her food. She liked stacking biscuits to pretend she was an architect, or imagined carrot sticks were people and the mashed potatoes were patches of flobberworms. But today's lunch was soup, so she couldn't play or else she'd make a mess, so she ate it quickly and decided to go to the library.

"Evans!" she heard someone call her name. She turned around. It was those twats from Slytherin, Mulciber and Avery.

She shook her head. "Sorry, but I'm not talking to him."

"Cut the rubbish, Evans," Avery said. "He's acting all depressed. If you'd only let him know you're still in good terms-"

"I'm not on good terms with him," she narrowed her eyes.

"I don't care if it's fucking true or not! He's being annoying and I want him to stop!" spat Mulciber.

"Shut up, Mulciber!" Avery raged.

"Sorry, Avery."

"Nope. Bye," Lily started walking away.

"Evans," Avery snarled. He grabbed her arm, and pulled her so close to his face that she could see every angry brown speck in his cold gray eyes. "I always told him that _lowlife_ that Mudbloods like you weren't good for him. Believe me, one day you'll-"

" _Stupefy!_ " Lily heard a familiar voice shout. Avery flew backwards. Lily looked around for the source of the spell. When she spotted a tall head of mussed hair over the crowd, she knew.

"Potter!" barked Lily. "What the-"

"Oh, a 'thank you' would suffice," James rolled his eyes as he strode towards her. "Don't pretend he wasn't threatening you."

"And how'd you know where he went?"

"I just watched him walk after you."

"You were looking at me?" squeaked Lily incredulously.

"Evans, you already know that I fancy you," he said seriously.

She narrowed her eyes. "I could've fended for mys-"

"Ahem."

"It was _completely_ -"

"Excuse me?"

Lily huffed. "Th-th-than…"

"Sorry, didn't quite catch that?" he cupped his ear with his hand and batted his eyelashes obnoxiously.

"Thanks," she choked out.

James smirked. "That's more like it."

Avery was back on his feet. "You'll regret this, Potter! Don't think your name and riches will save you this time!" Mulciber and Avery whipped theirs wands out of their robes and walked angrily over to James and Lily, whose wands were already drawn.

" _Petrificus Totalus!_ " Avery spat. The spell whizzed towards James, who threw up a shield charm

" _Carpe Retractum!_ " James exclaimed. A whip-like, glowing red rope shot out of his wand and wrapped around Avery's wrist. Avery gasped in pain, and James flicked the rope so that Avery came flying towards him. When Avery was close enough, James punched him square in the jaw. Avery landed on the ground, clutching his jaw in pain. Getting up and wiping away the blood that trickled from the corner of his mouth, Avery turned on Lily.

"You think your fancy blood traitor boyfriend can save you, you little Mudblood tart? We'll see about that won't we." Avery sneered as he advanced on Lily. The surroundings cleared and all she saw was her and her opponent. She vaguely recognized James and Mulciber duelling nearby. _CRAP CRAP CRAP she was duelling somebody._ Avery swished his wand and suddenly a stream of conflagrant blue flames twisted and ran out of his wand. _What was that?_ Lily's head screamed. _We haven't learned nonverbal spells yet?!_

" _Ebublio!_ " Lily shouted. A light blue light shot towards the flames and soon, a large shiny bubble encased them, the flames still writhing inside. It floated up to the ceiling and popped sending blue sparks into the air like fireworks. The first and second years watching oohed and aahed in wonder.

" _Colloshoo! Stupefy!_ " Avery's shoes stuck to the ground and the didn't even have a moment to look confused before the spell hit him, and he collapsed to the ground, unconscious.

"Wow, Evans, that was quite a move!" Lily heard James shout.

" _Anteoculatia!_ " James recited. Mulciber had just begun to speak another spell when a scream pierced the air. Two giant antlers had sprouted from Mulciber's head.

"You'll pay for that, you little shit! _Expulso!_ " James stepped out of the way of Mulciber's jinx, but it hit an unsuspecting Ravenclaw third year and pinned her to the stone wall.

Mulciber gave James and Lily one last icy glare before muttering the counter-curse to Lily's _Colloshoo_ and leading Avery, who was slowly coming back to consciousness, back to the dungeons. After the whole mess with the Ravenclaw had been sorted out, Lily turned to James.

* * *

"You can go now," Lily said to James.

"I think I'll stay," he said lightheartedly.

' _WHAT ARE YOU DOING?_ ' an inner voice screamed at him. ' _PADFOOT TOLD YOU TO LET HER COOL HER HEAD,YOU BLOODY WANKER._ '

Lily scrunched her nose up. James thought it was cute. _No, stop it, you wanker. Keep it in your trousers for once._

"Fine," she said resignedly.

So James accompanied her to the library. As they walked, he would glance at her when he knew she wouldn't catch him.

' _She doesn't look sad_ ,' he thought. ' _Just kinda empty_.' He wanted to grab her hand and pull her into a tight embrace, but he knew she would slap him across his face if he tried anything too touchy-feely.

James decided to try and lighten her mood with some more conversation, and just as they were rounding the corner to the library, he asked, "Are you looking for any book in particular?"

She shrugged and lingered before the oak door to the library, and said, "Not really. I just come here whenever I'm feeling…" She hesitated.

"Feeling?" James questioned, his eyebrows raised in a way that urged her to continue.

"Never mind," she said. She opened the door and strode toward the history section.

James looked after her and then sat down in an empty chair at the tables. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Quidditch practice, the fight with Avery, and little sleep the night before had taken their toll on him, and the quietness of library was soothing. He laid his head on the surprisingly comfy table and fell asleep.

* * *

After finding an interesting book about the founders of Hogwarts, Lily looked for James and found him asleep with his head on the table. She felt a tiny smile grow. One might find his innocent face adorable.

She sat across from him and opened up her book. She decided to just read, then wake him up when lunchtime was almost over.

While she read, she glanced at him occasionally. ' _People sure do look different when they're asleep. He looks so innocent,_ ' she thought, knowing the opposite was true. She also couldn't help but notice the smirk he always sported had settles into a placid, content smile, and that the worry lines on his forehead that always appeared when they quarreled had smoothed into a spotless patch of tanned skin. Suddenly, she was noticing everything, from the freckles scattered along his (well defined, mind you) jawline, to the stubble by his ear where he forgot to shave that morning, and that he was actually quite handsome without his glasses and… _WHAT!?_

' _Read your book, you hormonal teengager!_ ' her brain screamed.

She forced herself to concentrate on the reading at hand to distract her from her brain's insane thoughts. Ten minutes later, Lily checked out her book and decided to wake up James since lunchtime was almost over.

"James," she shook his shoulder. "Next period's starting in a few minutes." The only sign of recognition he gave was a small grunt. She sighed and continued to try and rouse him from his sleep.

* * *

"James, " somebody poked his shoulder violently. "Wake up, you bumbling idiot," they hissed in his ear.

"Gah!" he jumped up suddenly. He groped around on the table for his glasses, slid them on and blinked slowly at her until she came into focus. "Lily?"

"Hello!" she waved her hand in front of his face and flicked his forehead with her finger. "Nap time's over, Potter."

"Oh. Evans. You're still here," he blinked as he rubbed his now-stinging forehead. "I thought you'd leave me or draw a mustache on my face."

"Maybe I did," she smirked.

"What?" he yelped. He covered his mouth with his hand. "Wait and see, Evans. I'll get you back."

"Oi, now you sound like Avery," Lily said.

"Sorry," James said in a muffled voice.

"Calm down, Potter. I'm teasing you. Can't you take a joke?" Lily threw her shoulders back, scrunched her hair, and mocked pushing glasses up the bridge of her nose, imitating him quite well.

Lily gathered up her books from the table as James adjusted his tie and fixed his crumpled shirt. Together, they walked out of the library.

"Evans, I can carry your bag for you if you'd like. Looks pretty heavy if you ask me." He reached for her bag. Lily sent James an icy glare, snatched the strap of her bag away from him, and swatted away his large, calloused hand.

"Okay, no help then. You're an independent bird." James paused to smirk, even though she couldn't see it. "I like that in a woman." After another withering glare from Lily and a (rather strong, might he add) punch in the arm, James decided it would be best to continue their walk in silence.

James took a glance over at Lily. _My goodness, she's beautiful._ She had fiery red hair that looked like the flames of a phoenix to him every time they argued, as if the intensity of the argument reflected upon her outward appearance. Her piercing green eyes were intensified by the paleness of her skin, and the freckles that scattered her nose reminded James that she was, in fact, a real girl standing next to him and not a perfect mannequin. She wasn't perfect, and that's what he loved about her. Wait. _Loved?_ When did that come up? Was he _in love_ with Lily Evans? James shook himself from his thoughts and continued the walk to lunch in silence.

They walked to the Great Hall for lunch and saw Peter, Remus, and Sirius sitting at the Gryffindor table.

"Prongs, where were you?" Peter asked as the two approached.

"Lily?" Remus stared in disbelief.

"Um...James, why are you covering your mouth?" asked Sirius.

"Library. Saved Lily from a Death Eater-"

"You did not-" she huffed.

"-and uh...I'm covering...well I'll let you see it."

James removed his hand slowly.

"Don't look at me! I'm hideous!" he cried melodramatically, fanning his face.

There was silence.

"What am I supposed to be looking at?" asked Peter.

"There's nothing there, mate," Sirius told him.

"What do you mean there's no-? But… but Lily! She drew a mustache on me!"

"Oh right," Lily smirked roguishly. "I was lying."

"Oi! I covered my mouth for nothing. I must've looked like a complete and utter idiot…"

"Don't need me to do that, Potter," Lily said.

Sirius barked. "Want ice for that burn, Prongsie?" he questioned teasingly.

James' nose twitched. "I'm good."

* * *

For the next few days, Lily let James accompany her on her trips to the library. She didn't know why she did it. His company had an unexpected effect on her.

It was calming.

You wouldn't anticipate that sort of feeling from hanging out with such a scoundrel such as Potter. She could only think of one reason for her sudden change of habits. James took her mind off Severus. She hadn't talked to him for five days.

It was Saturday and Lily decided to go out and read by the Black Lake. As she read about Godric Gryffindor and his early life story, the sound of shoes crunching on the rocks from behind her became louder.

"Lily."

Lily froze in place. Her eye twitched slightly. ' _No,_ ' she thought. ' _Not him. I don't want to talk right now._ '

"Lily," Severus pleaded. "Lily, hear me out."

She turned around. "What do you want to say?" she snapped at him.

"I- I apologized already. I don't need to again. And if you don't want to forgive me…" he paused and swallowed, "then I'll respect that," he barely choked out. "Even though we're not _friends_ ," his voice caught on the word. "I still care for your well-being. I might not be your friend anymore but Potter sure as hell never was. So why the fuck are you hanging out with him?"

Lily blinked at him in disbelief. "I-"

"He's _still_ an arrogant toerag, you said so yourself, don't deny it! He's a narcissistic bastard and a conniving son of a bitch. Severing ties with me doesn't change that."

"I don't know."

"Excuse me?" Severus was taken aback.

"I don't know why I'm hanging out with him," Lily admitted. "His presence is oddly...comforting."

"What?" Severus spat out in disgust. "He's-"

"It's weird, Sev, but he hasn't really tried to make a move on me. He hasn't tried to hold my hand or kiss me or ask me out. And he hasn't been bullying anyone lately." Lily looked up. "Has he?"

"Not me," Severus said reluctantly. "But still. Don't go near him. It'll break your heart. And it'll-" he paused. "It'll break mine double."

"Do you really still care about me?" she asked emotionlessly.

"Yes."

"I care about you as well. But you're not my best friend."

"That's fine," he snapped.

"Good. Because I'm never changing my mind about that." Lily took her book and stormed back to the castle. Severus stared until her figure disappeared.

* * *

Lily walked back to the Gryffindor Common Room. With every step, she felt something inside her break. She muttered the password to the Fat Lady, who gave her a concerned look, and climbed through the portrait hole. She tumbled onto an empty chair.

 _'What've I done? I just lost my best friend,'_ Lily thought. She stared at the wall, which was covered in intricate tapestries, the beautiful detail of the stitching distracting her from the painful feeling in her stomach. After finally becoming bored, she picked up a book that was lying on one of the common room tables. At some point, maybe even hours later, the four boys got back from a prank and plopped down on the couches. They talked, ignoring Lily's presence, and Lily continued reading. Then she got to the part that described how Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin used to be good friends until their duel. The dam holding back the emotions she had been feeling let go of its strong hold. Finally, she broke.

* * *

James was the first to notice.

"Lily!" he leapt up.

 _'Oh shit, what do I do?'_ he thought. ' _I've never seen her cry before!'_

"Evans?" Remus asked in concern.

James knelt down by her chair and put his hand on her shoulder. "Lily, did someone hurt you?"

"No," she waved her hand. She tried smiling to reassure him. "I'm just being silly. It's nothing."

"You never cry, Lily. Don't lie," James said irritably.

"Be gentle, Prongs!" scolded Sirius. "Women have delicate feelings."

"Sorry," he apologized hastily. "But even if you think it's stupid, tell me what's wrong."

"It's…" Lily paused and sniffed. Did she trust him? She thought back to what Sev told her.

" _He's a narcissistic bastard and a conniving son of a bitch. Severing ties with me doesn't change that._ "

"It's just this book! It's ruining my life" she threw the Founders book on the floor. She buried her face in her hands and put in a fake sob for emphasis.

"Oh. She's just one of those nerds who get emotional over a fucking book," Sirius rolled his eyes and grinned.

"Not helping!" growled James.

"Yes, it's extremely heart wrenching! I just want a piece of goddamn chocolate!" screeched Lily. "And while you're at it, get me a heating pad!"

The boys looked at each other uncomfortably.

"There, there," Remus patted her back. "I understand."

"Oi, piss off, that's _my_ job!" James spat. He patted Lily. "There, there, Evans. It'll be okay."

The other boys awkwardly scurried out of the Common Room. Sirius made smoochie faces and winked at James while they scooted away.

James and Lily stayed in silence for a moment.

"Can I hug you?" he looked to see her reaction. No answer. "I'll assume that's a yes."

So he hugged her, and to his pleasant surprise she didn't squirm or get away.

 _'It wasn't the book. Real shit must've happened to her if she isn't even pushing me away,'_ he realized.

"Thanks," he heard her whisper into his chest. He looked at her face in surprise. She seemed just as shocked as him.

"I-" he stammered. "Yeah. No problem."

* * *

James blinked up at the ceiling of his dormitory. He couldn't stop thinking about what happened in the Common Room. She smelled good, like citrus, clean sheets, and sugar cookies. He could still feel her breathing pattern on his neck. He could still see those green eyes that he loved...

James sat up quickly. He _loved_ Lily Evans? No, there was no way. Sure, she was damn fit and feisty, but he was totally over his dumb little firstie crush. He only asked her out because she looked _so hot_ when she was angry. It was _definitely_ not because he actually _wanted_ to go out with that crazy harpy.

 _Right?_

* * *

Lily turned over to the other side of her bed. Severus's question was still bouncing around in her head. Why _was_ she hanging out with Potter? He had always been such a twat to her in the past, so why did he change now? She didn't even like him! Hell, she hated him!

 _'But if you hate him_ ,' said the little voice in the back of her head, ' _why don't you tell him to stop accompanying you everywhere? Why didn't you push him away when he hugged you? Why were you staring at him that day in the library?' "_ I'm probably catching a cold," Lily told herself. The voice in her head laughed.

But, damn, she couldn't forget a hug like _that_.

* * *

 **A/N: Well that was the first chapter! Reviews are PRICELESS. Thanks soooooooo much for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everybody! We're back at it for a Chapter 2! Still based on that good 'ol Charlie Puth song, which is recommended to listen to if you're reading this story :) All characters belong to the Queen JK Rowling herself, except for Mclean the quidditch player, Clarisse Fairview, Daisy Westshire, and Nikolas. This chapter is set at the beginning half of 6th year. A big thank you to TrueHomiePiP: we gotchu :) Enjoy!**

* * *

 _ **You've awoken me, but you're choking me, I was so obsessed**_

 _ **Gave you all of me, and now honestly I've got nothing left**_

Lily walked to her compartment disappointedly. As every year progressed, Petunia grew more distant from her sister. This year, she didn't bother to say "Goodbye" or "I love you," like she usually did. Whenever Petunia said it, it was forced and harsh, but nonetheless, she said it. This year she stopped altogether.

"Lily!" her friend Marlene crushed her with a hug. Lily's sad thoughts on her straining relationship with her sister vanished.

* * *

"Oi, you're killing me," Lily wheezed.

"Sorry, Lils. How was your summer?"

"Not very eventful."

"It'd be more eventful with _Potter_ in it, eh?" Marlene elbowed her and winked.

"Marlene!" she hissed. "Keep it down! I just got on this bloody train, and the first greeting I get does _not_ need a mention of that prat."

"No need to get your knickers in a twist, Lils," Marlene said something under her breath and plopped on her seat, rummaging through her bag.

Lily ignored Marlene's mumbles and sat down as well, fiddling with her Prefect's badge. She noticed luggage that wasn't hers or Marlene's. "Where's Mary?"

"Changing into robes," Marlene answered. "I'm going to look for the trolley. Want anything?"

"I'm good, thanks," she replied. "By the way, if I'm gone by the time you come back, I've gone to the prefect's meeting."

"Oh, you and your bloody goody-two-shoes club," Marlene shook her head and left to find the trolley.

Lily checked her watch. She got up and made her way to the compartment for the prefects, Head Boy, and Head Girl.

As she walked, someone from behind bumped into her and she almost lost her balance. "Oi, watch it!" she exclaimed.

"Sorry Evans." said a deepening male voice. Lily turned around. It was none other than the swot lord himself, James Potter.

"Potter, what are you doing on this part of the train?" she inquired suspiciously.

James tapped the badge on his robes. His fingernail clinked on the metal. "I'm Gryffindor Quidditch captain now, Evans," he smiled at her, face beaming with pride.

"Oh," she said, not really knowing what to say. "That's… cool, I guess."

"' _Cool, I guess?'_ " James echoed disbelievingly. "Evans, do you realize the importance of this?"

"Important? Quidditch?" she questioned, like they didn't belong in a sentence together.

"Yes! The greatest game in the universe," he declared, gesturing his hands wildly. "With me as captain, we'll never lose a game! We've got the House Cup in the bag this year for sure!"

"Sure, Potter. Sure." She turned away and stepped into the prefects' compartment.

Lily barely paid any attention during the prefects meeting. _Patrol schedules… blah blah… broom closets… no one cares… Whomping Willow…_ It all ran together.

As soon as the meeting was concluded, Lily got up and walked back to her compartment. She was met by Marlene and Mary.

"So, what's new this year?" Mary asked Lily.

"Eh, the same old, the Head Boy and Girl have sexual tension, the Slytherin prefects were being creepy, and the Hufflepuffs were trying to make strained conversation." Lily chortled.

"Who has sexual tension?" a new voice questioned. A head of long, messy black hair popped through the door of the compartment.

"Sirius!" Marlene jumped up to hug him tightly. Mary and Lily gave each other confused looks behind her back.

* * *

The Welcoming Feast commenced as always; nervous first years sat uncomfortably under the Sorting Hat, and there were resounding cheers from their assigned house after they were sorted. Food appeared on the tables, and everyone piled it onto their plates and dug in.

"Marlene, when did you become such good friends with Sirius?" Mary questioned, her mouth stuffed full of potatoes.

"Over summer hols, I got an unexpected owl from him. I was bored, so what _else_ was I do do but reply? We just kept writing and… well, that happened." Marlene explained.

Lily raised an eyebrow at Marlene but said nothing. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the Marauders, laughing and joking around with each other. Suddenly, she felt an odd twinge in her stomach when she looked at James. Dumbledore's calm, respectful voice interrupted her thoughts and she turned in her seat to look at the Headmaster. She would need to think over this later.

* * *

After the Welcoming Feast, James changed out of his robes and looked for his pajamas in his luggage, which had been placed on the chair beside his four poster bed by the house elves. The others did likewise.

"Prongsie! Catch!" Sirius threw a pastry James's way.

"What the hell?" Remus narrowed his eyes. "You smuggled desserts from the feast? We're about to go to bed! Do you ever _not_ eat?"

"Nope," Sirius grinned. He threw a tart to Remus. Despite just yelling at him, Remus caught it and ate it.

"Ooh, the good big boy Prefect is eating smuggled food," Sirius jeered. "Don't you have rounds to do? Catch people snogging in broom closets after hours?" he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"The fifth year Prefects are on duty tonight," he replied. "I'm good."

"Mates," Sirius changed the tone of his voice. "We need to talk."

"What, Padfoot?" James asked in a bored tone. "Are you going to talk about birds again? I think I've just about heard it all." James dropped his voice a pitch. "James, I'm gonna take Clarisse Fairview to Hogsmeade tomorrow. Prongs, Daisy Westshire is looking damn shaggable right about now. James, be sure to be out of the house by eleven tonight, I'm having a girl over." James imitated.

"Yes, we're gonna talk about girls!" Sirius nodded enthusiastically. "Marlene McKinnon is starting to _look seriously shaggable._ Summer did that girl wonders. She's so hot. I'm gonna ask her out tomorrow." Sirius said conspiratorially.

"Here we go again," Remus muttered, putting his fingers to his temples.

"She doesn't look above average temperature to me," Peter tilted his head.

"Not temperatures, Wormy!" Sirius shook his head. "She's _gorgeous_!"

"Who's gonna say no to the ruggedly handsome Sirius Black?" Remus ventured mockingly.

"Exactly, Moony! Who could say no to this face!" Sirius fluttered his eyelashes obnoxiously and pouted his lips. "Well, James has gotten rejections loads of times," Sirius waved his hand, dismissing Remus's comment. "But this year, he'll come up with a new master plan. Right, Prongsie?"

"Hm. I don't know."

James thought about an occurrence from last year.

After Lily got over that _book_ (James suspected it was the fallout with Snivellus, though) he hung out with her so often that it soon became routine. When he was with her, she had _no idea_ what she did to him. She couldn't feel the butterflies in his stomach, the warmth her touch gave him, the ideas that came to him with every glance. With every day she didn't push him away, his confidence swelled. It got up to the point where he planned to ask her out again. For the 97th time. Not that he was counting or anything. Because he totally wasn't. That would be creepy. Which he wasn't.

As they sat at a table (the same one since the first day) in the library like they always did, James looked at Lily while she was reading. Feeling his stare on her, she looked up. James snapped out of his trance.

"What?" she was a bit unnerved.

"Evans. _Lily_. Can we talk?" he asked quietly.

"Yes. Actually...there's something I've been meaning to tell you," she said almost nervously.

"Really?" James tried and failed to hide his excitement.

"Well, you can go before me," Lily said.

"Ladies first, isn't it?"

"Um. Okay." Lily took a deep breath. "I don't really want you to hang around me anymore."

James felt the anticipation, the excitement, and the confidence all drop. In its place, he felt sadness and even a twinge of anger. "What?"

"It's...well, I don't want to start any rumors," Lily explained a little too defensively. "And I don't know what all your extra attention on me is for. There are plenty of other girls for you to stare at-"

"So that's all you think of me?" James interrupted, feeling his anger rising. "Just some arrogant, hormonal _creep_ who stares at girls as he pleases?"

"No," she said hotly. "Don't put words in my mouth, Potter. What I'm saying is it's about time you get over me."

* * *

"Prongsie! Prongs!" called Sirius. He snapped his fingers in front of James's face, making him jump.

"What?" he snapped after recalling the memory.

"Woah, mate," Sirius laughed. "You looked lost in thought there."

"Thought?" Remus asked in fake wonder. "Prongs can _think?_ "

"I'm not going to ask her out this year," James stated dejectedly.

"Why not?" Peter said in surprise. "You've been in love with her since forever."

"Breaking news!" Sirius announced, standing up dramatically, holding a fake microphone to his mouth. "James Potter has just stated he will not be asking Lily Evans on a date. James, could you elaborate on that?" he shoved his hand towards James's face.

"Stop being so childish, Sirius," Remus sighed.

"But seriously," Padfoot stopped pretending to be a reporter. "Why the lack of confidence?"

"I don't think Lily likes me being near her. She told me to piss off last year."

"She actually told you that?" Peter questioned disbelievingly.

"Not exactly," James said.

"So?" Sirius slapped his best friend's back affectionately (and a little too hard, might he note). "Nothing gets in the way of what a man wants. A little rejection never hurt, did it?"

"Except if you've been rejected 97 times," James spat irritably. "By the same girl. The one you've been in love with for the better part of six years."

"Point made," Sirius shrugged and popped a scone in his mouth. "But you're still gonna act cocky as hell, right?"

James brightened. He grinned. "Always." As everyone turned back to their previous tasks, no one seemed to notice how James's confidence faltered.

* * *

" _What I'm saying is it's about time you get over me._ "

Lily couldn't help but think of that moment as she lay in bed, waiting to drift into sleep.

When she said those words, she clearly saw the rage and pain in his hazel eyes. She could see how much it hurt him.

' _Oh James,'_ she had sadly and guiltily thought when the moment occurred. ' _I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this because for the first time I am feeling afraid I might start to like you.'_

In truth, Lily was terrified. Severus's question prompted a horrifying thought. What if, through the continued conversations and meetings at the library, Lily started to actually _fancy_ James Potter?

And ever since that thought crossed her mind, those once-platonic library visits with James left her with a heart beating _so fast_ she was sure it'd explode, rather than a sense of comfort for her grief over Sev.

So it had to stop.

After she told James to leave her alone, he took it not-so-great at first, but soon was back to his normal self before everything with Severus happened. Which was fine with Lily.

' _It's better that he got back to his bloody pranks again rather than act all depressed,_ ' Lily told herself.

 _'Don't you_ want _him to get worked up about you?'_ the little voice at the back of her mind asked slyly.

' _Shut up_ ,' she told it.

She could almost feel its knowing grin.

* * *

Lily gripped the cover of her Charms textbook. She stared up at the clock. Lily rolled her eyes and let her head flop to the musty pages of the book. It was days like this that ruined her week. September, the month that couldn't decide if it wanted to be hot or cold, the sun still beat down and the cool breeze blew. _Well, you can't feel the cool breeze inside a classroom, can you?_ Lily rolled her eyes. The final bell of the day jolted her out of her haze.

Lily threw her materials in her bag haphazardly, scrambled up out of her seat, and sauntered tiredly out of the door.

"Lily! Hey, Evans, wait up!" a masculine voice called. Lily braced herself for the worst.

"Look, Potter, I-" Lily spun around and halted abruptly. Looking down at her wasn't the smirking face of James Potter, but a softer, friendlier face.

"Nikolas! I'm so sorry, I thought you were someone else."

Nikolas had transferred to Hogwarts from Durmstrang in their second year. When he had first arrived, he had been small and stout, much shorter than the tall, lanky English boys that swaggered about the halls.

When he returned to start his fifth year, however, he had grown into his stoutness, becoming a bulky, handsome man, whom childlike timidness around women had never fully left. This made him very popular amongst the ladies of Hogwarts.

"Lily, I was wondering…" Nikolas started, running his hands through his dark hair, "The first Hogsmeade trip is coming up. I was wondering if you'd like to go with me?"

"Yes, o-of course!" Lily shuddered out, shocked.

Nikolas flashed her a smile. "Great. I'll meet you at the bottom of the staircase at ten." He picked her hand up and kissed the top of it, his gaze not leaving her eyes. Lily felt herself blush.

"You're the most authentic, good-hearted person I've met here. I truly value your acceptance. You're not like all the pathetic bimbos from my hometown. So, thank you. Goodbye, Lily."

Lily could only wave at his retreating back. She smiled and continued walking. Just as she was approaching the portrait hole, something caught her eye.

James Potter was standing in the corner, gaping at something that seemed to be over her shoulder. Sirius bounded over to him, slapping his arm in greeting. His eyes narrowed, and sensing the event that had taken place, he grabbed James by the collar of his shirt and yanked him up the stairs to the boys dormitory.

* * *

Lily and Heather, a fifth year prefect from Hufflepuff, had evening patrol duty tonight. As they did rounds, they talked about classes.

"I've started looking through prep books for my O. but I'm still so nervous…" Heather babbled. Lily nodded, trying to disguise the fact that she was completely zoning out.

"Did you hear something?" Heather asked suddenly. She narrowed her eyebrows.

"Shh," Lily held her hand up for silence. She listened and heard a clatter maybe ten feet away. Then the enveloping scent of cheap perfume hit her in the face like a brick.

The girls' eyes widened. "Walk silently," Lily advised in a low whisper, pointing to their feet. They tiptoed a few feet and heard a clatter again.

"What do you think it is?" Heather asked in a small voice.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say some people were shagging in that broom closet," Lily gestured to a door some steps away. Shuffling was heard again, and this time an unorthodox sound.

"Shit!" swore Heather. "They'll have some explaining to do." She looked up at Lily. "Should we open the door?"

"Part of me says yes, and part of me says no," she stated anxiously with a twinge of disgust. Of all the possibilities…

"Well, we can't just let them get away with it," Heather declared stubbornly. "We wouldn't be doing our job. On a different note, we'd lose our sanity."

"Too late for me, Heather, I'm insane as it is," Lily said absently. She thought of Potter as she said that. "I've got an idea. Let's knock on the door and let them recollect themselves, _then_ reprimand them."

"I haven't any better plan," Heather nodded and sighed. "Let's do it."

"Dear Merlin, help me," Lily let out a deep breath. She knocked on the broom closet door loudly.

A salacious yelp was heard and some more scuffles. " _Shitshitshitshit_ ," Lily heard a voice through the door.

"I'm gonna give you a minute to recollect yourselves," Lily announced loudly. "After I open this door, you've got some explaining to do."

Some more scuffles, and the sound of a girl crying. The male was speaking, but it was too quiet for Lily to make out the words.

"Alright, I'm gonna open the door now," Lily said. She braced herself.

"What a night," muttered Heather.

Lily slowly opened the door and saw a head of over- straightened dirty blonde hair and-

"Nikolas?" she gasped in surprise.

"I...I know how dumb this'll sound but-"

"Nikolas, I thought you knew better than that!" Lily shook her head. She was upset, not so much jealous as she was disappointed. "You said you didn't like pathetic sluts."

"Excuse me? What exactly are you implying?" the girl shrieked. Her face was tear-stained with mascara running down her cheeks.

"Nothing, dear," Lily said with fake sweetness. She turned back to Nikolas. "Well?"

"I'm sorry," he said, running his hands through his hair. There was nothing else to say anyway.

"Damn right you are," Heather chipped in.

Lily couldn't help but smile at Heather. She looked Nikolas directly in his eyes. "Well, Nikolas," she said, "it was nice knowing you. Here's your detention slip," she handed over a piece of parchment to him. She handed one to the girl as well.

"And by the way, the date's off."

* * *

"I need your help with something."

James paled. "W-what?"

Lily rolled her eyes and shifted her weight to her hip. "I need your help with something."

"Um, ok? What do you need?"

Lily dragged him into an alcove. "Not here, Potter, this is secret business." Lily inhaled. "I caught Nikolas with another girl and I want to prank him."

"Who is Nikolas?" James bluffed. Lily rolled her eyes again.

"Don't pretend you don't know what happened. I saw you that day, you know." James felt his face color. "I want to pull a prank on him to remind him I'm not to be messed with. Got any ideas?"

"Well, what does he care about most?"

"His hair…?"

"Brilliant," James said, absentmindedly running his hands through his own. "That's easy. What else?"

"His...body?"

"So everything about himself, he's obsessed with?"

"Pretty much," Lily shrugged. The tone of her voice changed suddenly. "Is there a way to lower his intelligence, too?"

"You don't need to, he seems dumb enough as it is, messing with you," James muttered. He looked her in the eyes. "I can play multiple pranks on him if you want. A series of them."

Her eyes widened and she cracked a smile. "Sure!" she agreed, almost evilly.

"Is it me, or does the idea of breaking school codes thrill you, Evans?" James asked amusedly.

"I think this is a special exception for me." Lily responded. "So when are you going to pull the pranks?"

"Oh, you'll know when it's happened." James winked at her and strode down the hallway.

* * *

Lily got up from her seat and gathered her belongings. As she walked out of the Charms classroom, she bumped into Nikolas. Her books tumbled to the floor. Sighing, she crouched down to scoop them up, but Nikolas's large hand swatted her away.

"Lily, please. It's the least I can do after hurting you." Nikolas pleaded.

"Fine, but just so you know, it took three minutes to get over it." Lily said, drawing herself up to her full height. Nikolas sighed in relief and bent down.

The sound of ripping cotton echoed in the hallway.

Everyone had caught a full view of Nikolas's puffskein-patterned boxers through the giant rip in the seat of his pants. Laughter and cried of disgust bounced off the corridor's walls as Nikolas clapped his hands over his rear and sprinted to the nearest men's restroom.

Even through the crowd that had gathered, Lily still caught the wink that James and thrown her.

The crowd started to dissipate, and Lily ran after James. "Potter, wait!"

"Yes, Evans?" he slowed down his pace so she could catch up with him.

"Thanks," she said, a little short of breath. "That was priceless."

"Keep it down, people can hear you and might rat me out," he said, but not harshly. He seemed to enjoy the fact that she was grateful. "Plus, you wouldn't want your spotless reputation to be tainted, would you?"

Lily waved her hand away. "I wouldn't mind."

James smiled a little. "Could you sit with me at lunch?"

"Huh?" she said, taken aback.

"Well, I understand if you don't," he added. "But-"

"I guess," she agreed before she could stop herself. ' _Why not?_ ' she thought. ' _Mar and Sirius are friends anyway, so maybe she'd like that.'_

"Really?" he tilted his head in surprise. "Okay."

* * *

Halloween was coming up, and Hogwarts was preparing. The First Years were helping Professor Sprout cut Hagrid's giant pumpkins to prepare for carving. Professor Flitwick was charming wreaths of red and orange leaves to drape around the hallways.

Sighing and plopping her book bag on the floor, Lily slipped into the seat between Marlene and Mary and began piling pasta onto her plate.

"Hey Lily." Mary greeted. Lily responded with a grunt.

"What's got your knickers in a twist?" Marlene questioned.

"Stupid Sluggy's got me applying for a scholarship from the Ministry on top of all my N.E.W.T classes."

"That's what you get for overachieving!" Marlene laughed.

"It's not my fault I want to secure a _real job_ before graduation." Lily poked Marlene in the arm, laughing.

"Hey! Professional quidditch is a real job!"

"Um, guys… look." Mary interrupted and pointed to something by the doorway.

Standing there was Nikolas, his entire body tye dyed in orange and black. His prized dark hair was now a flaming orange.

"Oi, Nik, trying to join our clan?" shouted the Weasley twins. Their older brother, Arthur, had met Nikolas's older brother during a trip to Durmstrang in the 60's.

"Woah, someone's really feeling the Halloween spirit today!" Sirius wolf-whistled. The Great Hall dissolved into giggles.

Lily turned back to her food. All of the sudden, a tiny paper airplane landed on her hand. _Open me_ was written on the wing. Looking around, she took it and unfolded it gently.

 _Prank 2_ , one more coming

Lily looked down at the formal, boyish scrawl on the paper and had no question about who it was from.

* * *

Halloween had come and gone, the Hogsmeade weekend had come, and all the students were milling around the grounds in excitement. Linking arms with Mary and Marlene, Lily dragged them out of the carriages into the pouring rain.

"Wow, what a beautiful day for a Hogsmeade trip." Marlene drawled sarcastically.

"Oh, shush," Mary chastised. "This is the first trip of the year, let's make the most of it."

Lily spotted a normally-colored Nikolas helping the broom closet bimbo into a carriage. He caught her eyes, shifted his hat on his head of dark hair, and looked away in shame.

Lily sighed. "I need a butterbeer."

Marlene snorted. "More like firewhiskey, am I right?" She nudged Lily's side.

Lily laughed and squished through the door that Marlene held open.

The scent of sweet, caramel butterbeer wafted through the air of The Three Broomsticks.

Lily slid onto her barstool. James had said there was another prank coming, so when was it going to be? Nikolas was starting to realize that she wasn't that hurt by his actions, and she needed to show him that it wasn't a good move to cheat before he got to comfortable with that slut he was with now.

 _Maybe good things take tim_ e, Lily assured herself.

She looked across the bar, where Nikolas had just arrived with his date. He pulled out a stool for the girl, who giggled and blushed, and then pulled out a stool for himself. He went to pull off his hat. His face adorned a confused look. Nikolas tugged on his hat again. It still wasn't budging. Suddenly, after a rather violent tug, Nikolas's hat ripped of his head taking the top part of his hair with it. Nikolas's elbow flew and rammed his date right in the nose. She shrieked, slapping him in the face and running out of the eatery. Nikolas, still frozen, looked down at his hat as laughter bounced off the walls. His eyes meet Lily's.

Lily smirked at him. His face flushed, and he runs out of the Three Broomsticks, covering his head with a glove.

* * *

James lounged on the soft velvet couch in the Gryffindor common room. He yawned. _Damn, planning and orchestrating pranks really is difficult,_ he thought. Over the past couple weeks, James had run himself ragged planning and executing those pranks. _Nikolas sure was a cautious person, of course he would have locks on every single trunk!_

"James." James turned. Lily stood behind him, clutching her books to her chest and looking down at her feet.

"I-" she cleared her throat. "I wanted to thank you. For what you did for me."

"Now, was that so hard, Evans?" James raised an eyebrow. He got up from his seat and stood in front of her. She looked up at him.

"It just meant a lot to me that I got revenge on that cheating arsehole."

"Any bloke would be mad to cheat on you." By now he had put her books down on the side table and taken her wrists in his hands.

Lily looked up at him. _My Lord, she's beautiful._ James briefly glanced down at her mouth and moved his head a little closer to hers. This seemed to flip a switch in Lily's mind, and she ripped her hands out of his.

"I've got to go- um- wash my -um legs. Bye!" Lily stammered. She raced up the stairs.

James sighed and tumbled back onto the couch. Soon, he fell asleep. Through his dreams danced wisps of hair as red as a fire, and eyes as deep and green as the finest emeralds in the wizarding world.

* * *

 _I have to go wash my legs!? You idiot!_

Lily flopped down face-first on her bed. Why had she lost her composure like that? She _never_ got nervous around him before!

She had seen his sneaky glance down at her lips. Lily knew what that meant. She just had needed to get out of there. But now that she thought about it, would what his eyes implied really be that bad?

' _Yes! It_ would _be bad!'_ Her sense of reason screamed. ' _First off, his lips look about as dry as the Sahara. Also, have you seen the way that boy eats his garlic bread?! He loves it more than his own mother!'_ it rambled. ' _He'd be too tall for you to reach, and he'd never let the fact go that he_ finally _kissed_ Lily Evans! _'_

 _Ok, it would be awful._ Lily reasoned. She got up off her bed and strode over to her muggle candy stash. Searching through the drawer, Lily pulled out a small metal tin in the shape of a mint leaf. Stuffing it into her bag, Lily blushed.

 _A couple breath mints never hurt anybody._

* * *

Lily trudged down the gravel pathway to the Quidditch pitch. She had no idea how the team could practice on these cold November days. It was 10 degrees celcius outside. She wore her ample coat, which she had gotten as a hand-me-down from Petunia, and under that her full school robe set. She rubbed her hands together and blew into them.

' _Curse Marlene for making me come down here today.'_ Lily grumbled silently. ' _Couldn't you have gotten another, more skilled friend to come down and take pictures for your mum's bloody holiday card?!'_

Lily's wizard camera, a gift from Mary and Marlene from last Christmas, dangled around her neck. A small satchel hung at her side, filled with film, and polaroid frames. Lily climbed up onto the stands, and found a spot near the goal posts where she could most likely get a good action shot of Marlene, a Chaser. She fiddled with her camera, filling its cartridge with film. Suddenly, something small and chilling landed on her nose.

' _Fuck_.' Lily cursed. ' _It's snowing. Great. Just bloody brilliant._ '

Lily jumped as she heard a loud voice probing the pitch.

"ALL RIGHT GRYFFINDORS. LISTEN UP!" James's voice echoed from the field.

Lily watch as James led a meeting on the ground, and soon enough, the team was in the air. She could spot Mar from the gleam of her golden ponytail whipping around in the wind. Whenever she came close to the goals, Lily pressed down the button on the top of the camera, capturing the moment through a moving picture.

As she looked through the reel, Lily smiled at her work. ' _Marlene's mum is going to be so proud.'_

An icicle dripped onto her hand from above, and Lily jumped, the camera flying from her hands. It bounced onto the floor of the stands, and rolled to a stop at her feet. Lily cursed, picked it up, and wiped the lens off with her sleeve.

She looked up and continued to watch practice. Quidditch was a pretty exciting game. Now she realized why James loved it so much. _James_.

 _Oh my Merlin._ Lily's jaw hung slightly open. James was sitting on his broomstick, watching over practice. As he exhaled, a puff of mist from the warmth of his breath against the cold air left his mouth. With the angle from where she was sitting, she could see his strong jaw, the glow of excitement in his warm hazel eyes, and the tiny sprinkling of snowflakes in his dark black hair. As he ruffled it, little droplets of water flew from it. Against her better judgement, she raised her camera and readied herself for the shot. Lily was so entranced by this picture perfect moment that she didn't even hear what he was saying.

* * *

 _Oh my Merlin._

James laughed at his best friend, who was hovering next to the team's small, fourth year seeker. He saw his hand go out to brush away a curl of her hair that had fallen stray from her bun, and she flinched out of the way with a look of disgust as she almost fell off her broom.

James rolled his eyes and quickly cast a Sonorus to his voice.

"SIRIUS! COULD YOU PLEASE STOP HARASSING MCLEAN FOR JUST A SECOND…"

Just then, a bright flash blinded him. His hands flew to his eyes. He heard a squeak come from somewhere on his right, and drew his hands away from his face just in time to see a wisp of red hair disappear beneath the barrier of the stands. He only knew one person with red hair like that. He knew that that hair smelled like sugar cookies and citrus and clean sheets.

"LILY?!" His voice cracked embarrassingly. In front of the whole team. With a Sonorus charm. He would never hear the end of this.

* * *

Lily winced. She had been caught. The flash must have accidentally turned on when she dropped the camera. _Shit_.

Lily rose from her hiding spot.

"Yes….?" She grinned sheepishly, hoping he mistook the blush that swept across her nose and cheeks for frostbite.

"WHAT'RE YOU DOING…" he stopped, waving his wand by his neck. "Sorry. What're you doing here?" James asked, flying over to her.

"I'm just… I'm here taking pictures of Mar for her mum's holiday card."

"Marlene just went in the locker rooms for water."

Lily flushed. "Well… there was a beautiful image I wanted to capture."

 _His face_ , an inner voice chimed in annoyingly. She frantically fake-looked at her watch.

"Sorry, gotta run. I have a prefect's meeting. Bye." she rambled and practically _sprinted_ out of the stands.

"The prefect's meeting starts in two hours!" she heard James yell after her.

Lily sped walked all the way back to her dorm room and flopped down on her bed, breathing hard.

Hands slightly shaking, she removed the film from the camera and sprayed the developing potion onto the reel. She lay them out on her desktop and waited for the pictures to appear. When they were dry, she held them up to the sunlight and admired them.

The shots of Mar really were great, her effortless flying skills highlighted by the angle and her fabulous offensive drives caught in perfect shots. In the one where Mar had flown over to Lily and the camera, smiling and waving, her blonde hair had shone, and her smile was one of pure joy.

Lily picked up the last picture in the stack. The one she had taken of James.

She studied the picture of James intensely. She separated his photo from the ones for Mar's mum.

Over and over again, she watched his full-bodied laugh and the amused roll of his eyes behind his giant circle glasses. She watched James's figure ruffle his hair then shield his eyes from the flash. Lily felt herself grow warm. What was she _thinking_?

' _You_ weren't _thinking_ ,' she scolded herself. But deep down, a little voice prided that she did get a picture of him. Even if it _did_ cost her dignity.

"Lils?" she heard Mary call from the stairs, and in a rush she shoved the photo of James in her Potions notebook.

* * *

 _Oh my god oh my god oh my god._

Lily scrambled around the common room, hands flying over pillows and cushions.

"Hiya, Lily!" Frank Longbottom greeted. He paused when Lily looked up at him and grunted. "Is everything alright?"

"Have you seen my Potions notebook, Frank? The maroon moleskin with the gold binding?"

"No, Lily, I'm sorry. I'll keep a look out for it, though."

Frank went to leave, and made way for Marlene to pass through the portrait hole.

"Lily, have you lost something?" Marlene asked.

"Yes," Lily halted her search. "My Potions notebook. Have you seen it?"

"No, I haven't. Why is it so important to you, anyways? We haven't got any Potions homework over the holidays!"

"No, Mar, you don't understand." Lily said through gritted teeth. She had bottled this up for too long. Lily needed to tell someone now.

"You know what…" she mumbled. Lily grabbed Marlene's wrist and pulled her up to their dorm room, despite Marlene's whining.

Lily shut the door, locked it and put a ' _Muffliato_ ' on the room. She plopped down on her bed, patting the mattress next to her, motioning for Marlene to sit. Marlene took her seat suspiciously.

"Mar, you know that time I came to Quidditch practice to take pictures for your mum's holiday card?"

"Yes, and they turned out wonderfully, by the way." Marlene said. Lily blushed at the compliment and continued on.

"Well… when you went in for water, I might've took a picture of...James." Lily's voice rose slightly at the end. "And he caught me. I lied and said I was taking a picture of the pitch, so he doesn't know I have it, but I put it in my Potions notebook and… _oh my merlin what if he finds it oh my merlin Marlene you've gotta help me please I really need help oh my merlin."_

"Lily, calm down." Marlene placed her hands on Lily's shoulders. "Why are you so worried about him finding it anyways? Are you afraid to show your talent in the art of photography? Because those pictures are great, and you shouldn't be ashamed of a hobby."

Lily mumbled something under her breath.

"What was that?"

"I don't want James Potter to think I like him."

"Oh, I'm sure that's not going to be a problem." Marlene laughed. "After all those years of you turning him down? He'd have to be mad to think you liked him. Look, I've got to meet Greg in the Library in fifteen. Bloody first years and their bloody Charms work. I'll catch you later. And Lily, don't worry." She left the room.

Marlene's voice echoed in Lily's head. _After all those years of you turning him down? He'd have to be mad to think you liked him._ Had she really been that terrible to him? The strange twinge was back, but this time, she recognized the feeling.

 _Guilt_.

* * *

 **Thank you so much for reading! All three of us just started school again, so it took a while to get this up, but we made it extra long to make up for it! ;) We're already planning another chapter, and we'll try to be better about updating more often. Stay tuned for more!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! We're back, back, back, back again. Sorry, we get that it's been a while. We swear there's more fun stuff coming out. This was kinda a hard chapter to write, but we did it! Everything and everyone is J.K. Rowling except for Quintillus the half-dwarf. Enjoy!**

* * *

 ** _I loved you so dangerously_**

 ** _More than the air that I breathe_**

Lily hauled her trunk into the stow-away cubby over the window. It was time to leave for the winter holidays. Settling into the cushioned seats of the Hogwarts Express, she tried to relax her body and not think about the anxieties of school. The laughter of her friends floated around the once-empty train compartment.

"Mary, I can't believe you're still hung up on that prat Higgins." Marlene exclaimed.

"Well, it's not my fault that 'that prat Higgins' stole my fucking cat! I need Mr. Lumpkin for next term!"

Suddenly, a loud crash came from outside, followed by a string of curses. Lily peeked out the small, scratched window into the hallway. Peter Pettigrew was sprawled out on the ground over his trunk, and Remus Lupin stood behind him, angrily grabbing his elbow.

"Oh, Peter," Lily rolled her eyes playfully. "You're quite the klutz, you know." Peter blushed and grinned sheepishly. Lily helped him up.

"Hey, Remus, where are Sirius and James?" Marlene shouted.

"They're staying at Hogwarts this year. James's parents are on a trip to Egypt to investigate some dark magic that's been placed on the tombs." Remus answered.

Marlene's face fell. Lily looked behind Marlene questioningly at Mary, who raised her eyebrow curiously. Marlene turned back to Remus and Peter and put on a face of indifference.

"Hm. Okay. Happy Christmas, you two." They bid Marlene goodbye, and waved to Lily and Mary. Lily slid back into the compartment and closed the door. By now, they were chugging across the snowy plains, and the train had settled into a peaceful sort of state.

Lily curled up into a ball in her corner. Her friends babbled on, but she decided to try sleeping. Recently, she hadn't gotten much sleep- in its place, she contemplated on her feelings.

Had she really been as cruel to James as her friends described? Their stories depicted her as a monster whose fury was unleashed at the drop of pin. She always thought she had handled those situations with as much maturity as a fifteen-year-old could have, always staying level-headed and composed. He had thought of her as a prize to be won, and her mother taught her that she deserved much more respect than that.

But her conversations with his friends revealed that James had placed her on some sort of pedestal.

According to Marlene, Sirius had said that he really had poured his heart into every childish proposal and extravagant request. Every time she had rejected him, he slunk back to his dorm and refused to talk to anyone for hours. But after each period of reclusiveness, he came out for his dorm with the same arrogant swagger and incandescent grin.

Lily would have been crazy or just plain stupid to think that all those years of rejection didn't take a toll on his emotions.

Lily shook her head a little, as if to shake the thought of James away. To replace the thought of him, she anticipated the sight of her family. She was just looking forward to a relaxing Christmas holiday. It would be great to leave behind the drama of the wizarding world for a little while.

The scarlet engine chugged, slowed, then stopped into its resting position at Platform 9 ¾. Lily bid her friends goodbye, wishing them lovely holidays. She took her belongings and left the crowded train. Lily ran through the brick wall leading to King's Cross, where her family was waiting to welcome her back to the Muggle world once again.

* * *

"Wow, Lily, you've really let your hair grow too long," Petunia remarked, combing her fingers through Lily's red tresses. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Well, that's what happens when you don't cut it for months." Lily replied flippantly.

"I just meant that you ought to put some care into your appearance if you're ever going to catch a husband. We both know that your freakish magic tricks certainly won't attract a handsome, rich suitor. You should listen to me, I have experience in these types of matters."

Lily sighed. She wouldn't consider Vernon Dursley to be a "handsome" suitor. She didn't want to grow up and produce a breed of chufty, mustached children, and watch as they grew up to marry stiff, proper wives while she waved on from the sidelines, making them poppyseed muffins and driving them to football practice. She wanted to actually _do_ something, contribute to the world in some way.

"I'm not in a hurry, Tuney. I'm almost seventeen, it's not like my ovaries are drying up." Petunia flapped her hand at Lily.

"Oh, don't call me _Tuney_ , that's _positively_ immature." She crossed her ankles and straightened her back, struggling in the small leg are provided in the back seat. She pouted her lips and gazed out the window onto the rainy streets. Petunia had been obsessed with being the perfect, wholesome, polished housewife as of late.

"Oh, Lily, I'm just glad you're home. It's going to be great to have some family time." Lily's mum turned around in the front seat.

"Yeah, I can't wait to be home." Lily agreed half heartedly. She really just needed some time away from...well, everything. The Evans family town car trundled down a paved road lined with pastel colored cookie-cutter houses.

They pulled into the driveway of the last house, one a little smaller than the rest on the street, with a white picket fence surrounding the freshly pruned yard.

Lily stepped out of the car and went to unload her trunks from the trunk of the car. She popped the trunk and lazily grabbed the handle of her first trunk, only to be met with the soft crinkle of paper.

Lily unrolled the small scrap of parchment that was tied to her trunk with a slim red ribbon.

 _Lily,_

 _Be sure to write me over winter hols. I'm going to miss talking to you._

 _James_

Lily carefully folded up the note and slipped it in her back pocket. She smiled to herself. It was obvious that he was trying to get closer to her. Maybe she should let herself jump _for once_ and try to get to know him. She _had_ enjoyed hanging out with him in the library, no matter how hard she had tried to push those feelings down. After all, she owed it to him, what with all of her brutal rejections over the years.

After changing into her favorite pajamas and settling back into her childhood room, she threw her pants over the chair of her desk, and switched off the light.

* * *

James stretched his legs onto the red velvet ottoman and raised his arms above his head, sighing at the relief it brought his shoulders. The warm fire in the Common Room's fireplace crackled and popped, its light glinting off the polished glass ornaments adorning the towering Christmas tree standing in the corner.

"C'mon mate, let's go down to the kitchens, maybe grab a few mugs of coffee, some cookies…" Sirius lumbered down the stairs from the boy's dormitories and clapped James on the shoulders.

"Not now, Sirius, I'm tired." James mumbled.

"Oh, you bloody old chap, I'll leave you to your knitting." Sirius teased and strode out the portrait hole.

James sighed and looked down the small crisp card lying on the side table. Sirius's cousin Bellatrix was getting married off to a burly bloke named Rudolphus, and the mother of the bride had invited all the respectable pureblood families to attend. He had heard Sirius's conspiracy theories. Apparently, his family had become a shit show. Rudolphus was a Death Eater in You-Know-Who's inner circle- the Blacks only offered him Bellatrix's hand to gain powerful connections. Regulus, Sirius's younger brother, a Slytherin, was going on longer trips to sketchier places with even less information about his travels.

The world was not the bright, beautiful place it had been when he was a child. It was not the glorious place he had hoped to grow into, to get married in, to raise a family. It was growing cold, dangerous, and sadistic.

His mother and father had already said they would not attend the wedding- they knew the pain Sirius had been subjected to in the Noble House of Black. Somehow, though, this invitation was a reminder to James that in the new world of the near future, not everyone would be safe. Not Sirius. Not his parents. Not Remus or Peter. Not Lily.

James ran his hands through his hair. What the bloody hell was he doing? It was nearly Christmas, a time for goodness and happiness and togetherness and friendship and family and _love_. And here he was, wallowing in worry, while he should be enjoying his friends, not having lessons, and being free to wander the warm yet empty halls of the castle. He stuffed the wedding invitation into his pocket.

James got up from his seat, rubbing his eyes tiredly from under his glasses, and began walking lazily to the staircases. _Merlin_ , he was tired. His eyes dropped to a glimmer of gold lettering peeking out from behind the nearest couch. James knelt to inspect the font of the gold text printed perfectly across the cover of a moleskine notebook labeled _Year Six Potions_. James picked up the book and flipped to the inside cover of the somewhat tattered notebook. _Property of Lily Evans, Gryffindor_ was scrawled in perfect cursive at the top.

James tucked the small notebook under his arm and continued up the stairs. _'At least we don't have any potions work over hols,_ ' James thought. He would just give it to her when she returned in two weeks. When he reached his bed, he placed the notebook on his dresser, where it would stay for the next few weeks, not noticing the small slip of paper sticking out of the pages.

* * *

The sound of gentle chirping woke Lily up. She rubbed her eyes groggily and squinted toward her window. Small rays of sunlight streamed through her curtains and glinted off the shiny white sprinkles of snow on the feathers of a rather obese owl.

Lily climbed out of bed, strode to her windowsill, and petted the rotund bird affectionately on the head. It nuzzled into her palm and shook its head, dropping the red envelope in its beak.

Lily picked it up and flipped it over, fingers fluttering over the wax seal. The Potter family crest was stamped in deep red wax on the back. Lily sighed. Potter was _really_ committed, she would give him that.

She went to throw it away, but was blocked by a flutter of wings and small beak nudging her hands. Hesitantly, Lily plopped down on her bed and opened the letter. ' _Merlin, Potter must be really desperate_ ,' Lily chuckled to herself.

 _Lily! It's Marlene! I'm sorry for the unconventional means of delivery, but I'm at the Potter's house for a few days. Our floo network was jinxed, and we ended up in the middle of nowhere, a nowhere that Mrs. Potter just happened to be passing through. Mum tells me that we're staying at their house for hols because the Aurors are still investigating the mishap. Sorry for the surprise note. I told dear old Reginald to peck and scratch you if you tried to throw it away._

 _Anyways, I'm really missing you. Want to meet me at Hogsmeade later today? Meet me in front of Florean Fortescue's. Send Reggie with your reply. Mrs. Potter is trying to get him back in shape. He's getting a little chubby._

 _Love from Marlene_

Lily smiled and scribbled back a quick response agreeing to meet Marlene soon. She fed Reginald a small owl treat, petted him on the head, and sent his off on his merry little way. She watched as Reginald bobbed through the air, fluttering into the distance until he was only a speck in the distance.

"Lily! Lily! Breakfast is ready!" Petunia shrieked from downstairs. Lily grumbled.

"Coming!" Lily came down the stair and walked into her kitchen, where her mother stood by the stove cooking eggs, her father sat in his rocking chair reading the Sunday papers, and Petunia painted her nails at the table.

"Good morning, Lily dear." Lily mum greeted, as she had done every morning for the week and a half that Lily had been home.

"G'morning." Lily replied. She heard a _humph_ from Petunia. Lily glared at her. She took her stack of pancakes off the counter and went to sit down next to her dad. He set down his newspaper, seemingly having settled back into his home after a business trip to Paris.

"So, Lily, how has school been?"

"It was good. Classes are challenging. Gryffindor is second for House cup so far, and quidditch is just starting," Lily said through a mouthful of pancake.

"Any boys?" Lily's dad raised his eyebrow. Lily gulped down her bite.

"None of any importance." Mr. Evans made a sound of approval.

"Well, I'm glad everything's going well, Lily." He patted her hand affectionately and went back to his newspaper. They finished their breakfasts in silence. Lily got up and cleared her plate into the sink.

"Mum, I'm going to Hogsmeade with Marlene today."

"Ok, dear have fun, be safe."

Lily started up the stairs.

"Lily, dear?" Lily turned.

"If there ever are any special boys in your life, keep in mind that I have a gun." Lily's father joked.

Lily chuckled.

"I wouldn't doubt it!" she hollered down the stairs.

* * *

"Lily, _darling_ , it's been absolutely _ages_ since I've last seen you!" Marlene preened lavishly. Lily pushed her arm.

"It's good to see you too, Mar." She swung her arm over Marlene's shoulder as she laughed.

"So, what do you want to do today?"

"I was thinking we could maybe buy a gift for Petunia at Zonko's and then just hang out in the Three Broomsticks."

"Sounds great." The two girls trudged through the snow towards the colorful, glittering joke shop at the end of the snow-covered cobblestone street.

"So, what has Her Majesty Lily Evans been doing over the holiday?"

Lily rolled her eyes."Oh, you know, the usual. Petunia's been annoying, I've been dodging my dad's inquiries about boyfriends, and pushing away my mum's babying. Nothing special." Lily held open the door to Zonko's. "Shall we?"

Marlene jokingly curtsied. "Of course m'lady."

The joke shop was especially packed. Small children pulled along stressed mothers and fathers and siblings pointed and gazed in awe at all the new toys. Quintillus, the half-dwarf working behind the counter, looked absolutely hassled as hurried customers shoved their items at him.

Lily and Marlene wandered between shelves, occasionally picking up trinkets and inspecting them.

"Ugh, what trick will be horrible enough for dear old Petty?" Marlene said.

"Well, my dear, I would personally go with a Pygmy Puff. I heard their saliva turns hair bubblegum pink." said a masculine voice from behind them.

"Sirius!" Marlene spun around to hug him. "Oh, hello, James!"

Lily shuffled her feet awkwardly.

"Oh, Lilykins, don't be like that!" Sirius scooped Lily into a hug and picker her of the ground, shaking her a little.

"Put me down, you big lump!" shrieked Lily. Sirius let her down and ruffled her hair.

Lily turned to James and gave him a small wave. He returned the sentiment with a glowing smile and a small wave of his own.

"How long have you two been here?" Marlene asked Sirius.

"Just a few hours. We just needed to go out for a walk, you know to loosen up, relieve some stress." Sirius shot a wink at Marlene, who giggled. "In fact, would you like to accompany me on a walk to somewhere more private, m'lady?" Marlene blushed.

"Well, actually, me and Lily here we're going to…"

"It'll only be a little while. Besides, we haven't seen each other in a while." Sirius made puppy dog eyes.

Marlene looked at Lily, silently asking permission. Lily rolled her eyes, motioning for her to go. _She owes me big time_.

"Sure, Sirius. Lead the way." Sirius's eyes lit up and he took Marlene's hand, leading her out the door, leaving James standing awkwardly in the middle of the isle.

"We'll be right back, Lily! Meet us in the Three Broomsticks as planned in fifteen minutes." Marlene called over her shoulder as she and Sirius left the joke shop in peals of laughter. James awkwardly turned to Lily.

"Well, shall we?" He held out his arm to her. She shot him a hesitant look and took his arm, hand wrapping around his forearm.

"Sure." The two walked out of Zonko's, boots crunching into the snow blanketing the stone street. They shuffled into the Three Broomsticks, taking a booth in the back of the cozy little pub.

James waved over Madame Rosmerta, whose eyes widened at the sight of her favorite customer with the girl who had been breaking his heart for years on end.

"What can I get you two today?" Madame Rosmerta asked.

"I'll take a warm Butterbeer." answered James. "And Lily will have…"

"I'll have a coffee with sugar and cream, please." Lily finished. Madame Rosmerta scribbled on her notepad. She looked between the two awkward looking students.

"Is this what the kids' idea of a date is these days?" Madame Rosmerta watched as Lily turned bright red and James paled. They began speaking at the same time.

"It's not exactly…"

"We're just waiting for some friends…"

"We just ran into each other…"

"They should be here soon…"

Madame Rosmerta tried to conceal her laugh. Strong denial meant strong feelings, that was for certain.

"Don't worry, I was only teasing. I'll be right back." She threw a wink at James as she left, out of Lily's sight.

James turned to Lily, laughing awkwardly.

"So, what brings you here? I thought you and Sirius were staying at Hogwarts?" Lily asked.

"Oh, nothing much. Just buying Christmas presents. And we snuck out of the castle. Today there was a teacher's meeting and no one was patrolling the hallways." James replied. "What about you?"

"I just missed Marlene. Also, I need to buy a Christmas gift for Petunia, my sister. She abhors the wizarding world. Calls us all freaks. I thought it would be hilarious if I bought her a prank toy from Zonko's." James's eyes lit up.

"Oh, you should get her a pair of Moonwalkers. They're these ordinary shoes that can help its wearer defy gravity. You could walk on walls, take a stroll on thin air, or even take a space bounce down the street. They're really brilliant."

Lily laughed. "That would be perfect. She'll go bonkers!" They laughed.

Madame Rosmerta dropped off James's steaming mug of butterbeer and Lily's small coffee. Lily picked up her cup, took a hearty sip, and watched as James did the same. She looked out the pub's window foggy window. _Where were Sirius and Marlene?_

Lily tapped her fingers on the wooden tabletop. James looked down at his feet beneath the table and kicked the ground, ridding his boots for snow. Lily looked across the table at James. He looked anxious and kept glancing at something on his wrist, seeming dissatisfied by what he was seeing. Lily noticed the large watch adorning his wrist. It was an heirloom, she assumed, by the sturdy look of the wide leather band to the slight rust on the side. It was a beautiful watch. It's only flaw, however, was the thick, spidery cracks making their way across the face, rendering the watch unreadable.

Lily pointed at the watch. "What happened?" James looked up.

"What?" He looked at the subject of Lily's gesture. "Oh, Sirius and I were playing quidditch the other day and he knocked a Bludger my way. Hit my wrist."

"Are you okay? That must've broken a few bones!"

"I'm fine. Madame Pomfrey got my wrist all fixed up, but somehow the watch resisted all repair spells. I even contacted the maker and even he had no solution. It's pretty useless now. I still like to wear it, though. It's…"

"-an heirloom. Yeah, I assumed."

Suddenly, the bell by the door binged and Marlene and Sirius walked through the door, brushing snow off their coats.

Lily stood up to wave the over. Marlene saw her and grabbed Sirius's arm, pulling him over to the booth.

Sirius clapped James on the shoulder.

"Well, mate, it's about time we get back to the castle. Filch will have noticed we're gone. See you later, ladies." He kissed Marlene's hand, gave Lily a hug, and began ushering James toward the door.

"See you later, Lily!" James dropped money for his butterbeer on the table and waved. Lily returned the sentiment with a small wave of her own.

Marlene sat down in the booth across from Lily.

"What was that, Mar? Do you and Sirius have a- a...thing?" Lily questioned.

"Never mind that, Lily. It's nothing serious. But, let me tell you what I just found out!" Marlene said dramatically. Lily looked at her expectantly and motioned for her to go on.

"James bought you a Christmas present." Marlene stated proudly, leaning back in her seat.

"He did?!"

"Yup, wrapped it up today. Sirius wouldn't tell me what it was, though." Lily rubbed her temple.

"I have to get him something. I mean, it would be rude to not get him something, right?"

"Well, we have plenty of time today. What do you even think he'd want? He's the only son of a filthy rich pureblood family, what else could he possibly want?"

Lily thought for a moment. Had he said anything about what he'd like for Christmas? Marlene was right, he was filthy rich, he didn't really need anything else. His parents probably had old family items just laying around their gaudy estate, just waiting for him to break. To break. His watch. He needed a new watch.

"A watch. One from the wizarding world. His was broken by a bludger a few days ago."

"Hm." Marlene shrugged. "That's a pretty good idea. There's a place here that my dad swears works actual magic on his watches." She winked.

Lily laughed.

* * *

The store was cramped and musty, but its windows shone with enormous, glittering diamond necklaces, ruby rings that seemed to beat like hearts, and blue gemstone earrings that were as alive as a pair of eyes that shimmered with excitement.

Lily approached the old shopkeeper sitting behind a small desk, who read a newspaper in the back of the store, as Marlene oohed and aahed at the beautiful jewels. She tapped the dinger carefully. He looked at her over the newspaper through a pair of large circular glasses.

"Um… I'm here to buy a watch for um… my brother. It's his birthday and his watch was shattered by a bludger beyond repair." Lily said awkwardly. The old shopkeeper smiled up at her.

"Of course, my dear. Kindly follow me to the watch section." He led her through the aisles until they reached a table where dozens of handsome watches stood on display.

"Now, as I can tell you have no idea what to buy your brother, I must pick a watch that best suits his personality. Can you answer a few questions about him?"

"Yes, of course, what do you need to know?" Lily answered uncertainly.

"How old is he?"

"He's seventeen." The shopkeeper gave her a strange look.

"We're twins." Lily blurted out. "That's why, you know, we're the same age." _Omigod that was so stupid why am I rambling why did I say that._ The shopkeeper gave her a questioning look, but resumed his inquiries.

"What is he like? Tell me about him."

"He's a chaser for Gryffindor this year. He's funny and loves making people smile and he's like a giant, he's so tall. It annoys the living shit out of me!"

The shopkeeper gave her a look, but ignored her use of language. He slid open a drawer and pulled out a silver-faced watch with a thick black leather band.

"How is this?"

Lily looked at it, tapping her finger on her chin. It wasn't… James to her.

"How about gold? With a thick brown band, possibly? He's really tan so…"

The shopkeeper nodded and put the watch back. Shuffling through the drawer, he pulled out a watch matching Lily's description, its many bronze hands whirling around its gleaming gold face. A small gold snitch fluttered around, flitting in and out of view. The shopkeeper held the box containing it out to Lily, who took it gently from his hands.

"Thank you, sir, it's perfect."

"It's my pleasure, my dear. That will be twelve galleons, please."

Lily dug the money out of her bag, thanked the shopkeeper, and dragged Marlene from the diamond displays and out of the store.

"Got what you needed?"

"Yeah. Listen, I'm really tired, I think I'm going to go home. I'll see you in a week!" Marlene rolled her eyes and pulled Lily into a hug.

"Okay, _grandma_. See you later!"

Lily waved to Marlene and took the floo home. In a puff of smoke, Lily got out of her fireplace. Her mum stood behind the kitchen counter, making a batch of cookies.

"Hi, honey," her mother greeted. "What's that you've got there?"

"Um, it's a gift for, um, a friend. I'm tired, I'll talk to you later, Mum!" Lily raced up the stairs, ignoring her mum's questioning look.

Lily set down the watch on her desk, and flicked her wand, wrapping it in a velvety red bow and hanging a tag on the side.

Looking through the Zonko's catalogue she had picked up earlier, Lily sent a letter to the shop, ordering a pair of size thirty seven Moonwalkers, that to the ordinary eye resembled a pair of sophisticated maroon kitten heels. When she received her receipt later on in the day, Lily attached a pouch with payment onto the delivery owl's leg. The store assured her that the package would be wrapped and under her Christmas tree on Christmas Day.

Lily sighed. That was pretty good thinking on James's part. Maybe his love of pranking _did_ come in handy sometimes.

 _James_. He had been so awkward around her today. She thought back on their past conversations. Had she said anything? No, that would've gotten a reaction right away. Why were boys and feelings so _complicated_?

She flopped on her bed. _What was she going to do about this boy?_

* * *

"Oh, Lily, wake _up_ already!" Petunia screeched. "Mum and Dad won't let me open gifts until your lazy bum downstairs."

"I'm coming! _Merlin_ , would you be _patient?_ "

Petunia pulled her out of bed and down the stairs, Lily grumbling the whole way.

Their parents sat around the dazzling tree, already sipping their morning teas. Petunia sat down by the tree and began ripping open gifts, squealing at each one she opened.

Lily sat down beside Petunia and opened her gifts. She got a box of Swedish chocolates from Remus, a gift certificate for a book store in Hogsmeade from Peter and Sirius, who had both chipped in money, a half year's subscription to _Witch Weekly_ from Marlene, and some new wizarding makeup from Mary's cousin's beauty parlor.

Petunia squealed and pulled a small satiny box from under the tree.

"Who is _this_ for?" She cooed and fanned her face. She looked at the tag and the light in her eyes was extinguished. She handed the box to Lily.

"It's for you." She muttered. Her mother raised an eyebrow at Lily.

Lily cracked open the box. She gasped. Inside the box sat a pair of glittering emerald earrings, adorned with pearls and gold detailing. She heard Petunia and her mother gasp in unison.

She read up the scrap of parchment attached.

 _Dear Lily,_

 _These are for being such a good friend to me. You deserve them. They're a family heirloom, but my mum never wear them anyways. Plus, she saw you in one of Marlene's pictures and thought you should have them._

 _Cheers,_

 _James Potter_

Oh sweet _Merlin_.

Lily looked up at her family. Her mother was looking at the jewels with adoration, Petunia was staring at her in horror, and her father was still reading his blasted newspaper.

"Oh, _darling_ , try them on!" Lily's mum prodded.

"Um." Lily looked at Petunia, who was still glaring at her. "Okay."

Lily took out her small diamond earrings and placed the on the table. She took the gleaming earrings out of the box and put them in her ears. Slowly, she got up and looked in the mirror in her entryway.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

Sweet _Merlin_ , they were absolutely _stunning_.

She looked like a million galleons. She looked like a regal queen who ruled over a prospering kingdom. She looked like a girl that was worthy to be on James Potter's arm. A girl that could be paraded around fancy Pureblood soirées or whatever the fancy people called their parties. A girl who muggleborns and purebloods alike would adore.

And what had she gotten him? A fucking watch. A twelve galleon watch. These earrings had probably costed _hundreds_. They were a Potter family heirloom, after all.

She unrolled the note and reread it. _Wait_.

Thank you for being such a good _friend?_! _Cheers_ , James Potter?! What had happened to "Lily Evans, my future wife and mother of my children?" What happened to "I will love you forever, from your clandestine lover, James Potter?" Not that she enjoyed that or anything. Because she didn't.

Lily sighed and asked herself the question she had been dreading.

Did he not fancy her anymore?

Shit.

* * *

 **AAAAAND THANK YOU FOR READING! We hope you enjoyed that chapter! We're thinking about a few sorta behind the scenes type of one shots to go along with this story and also some just plain old one shots, maybe even one or two Christmas ones… SO STAY TUNED!**

 **We love you!**

 **Rowan Anvil and friends**


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